Just… hugs

June 17, 2016

Ivy hugging

I am a sucker for mornings in bed. Leo usually wakes up around 7am, which is right at the same time my favorite news show, Good Morning America, comes on. I love to lay in bed together, cuddle, and catch up on my daily news for the first half hour, before we are loudly interrupted by Ivy! ;) I LOVE the news. Seeing what’s going on around the world, our nation, our own city, I enjoy being culturally aware and knowledgeable about happenings. However, at the same time, I have to just TURN IT OFF sometimes. It gets to be too emotional…

This week, a two year old boy was playing in ankle deep water in Florida, when he was dragged into the water by an alligator, horrifying his parents and the nation (news story here). I have been obsessing over this news story, trying to imagine the unthinkable, trying to visualize the parents last images of their boy… and I just can’t. I literally have to stop my mind. I am so heartbroken over this news story, how the Dad tried to fight off the gator, how the Mom frantically paced the beach screaming and yelling, how experts are saying they didn’t stand a chance against the gator’s powerful jaws. I am in such shock and dismay of what has happened to this family. I am so so so sad and stunned at this awful story. My condolences, prayers, and thoughts go out to them from the deepest part of my heart.

It makes me hug my children so much harder. Parenting is the scariest thing sometimes when you’re reminded how fragile life really is. I even had nightmares last night about Leo hysterically crying then going completely silent with visuals of an animal in his crib attacking him. SCARY! I had to get out of bed to check on him because it was one of those nightmares where they’re so real you aren’t sure if it really happened or if it was a dream. Thankfully, a dream, whew. But, after events like this news story, I tend to live in a bubble for a while, extra cautious of the world around me and being hypersensitive to any dangerous situation. But that will come and go because Ivy is much too free-spirited to be held down, and this world will keep turning because you can’t control everything no matter how hard you try, even if as a parent we do everything “right,” there are too many things that happen for God knows what reason. It is such a struggle in life as we are at the mercy of the world around us. And while I hope and pray to live to be old and grey along with my kids, I go back to just… hugs. And love. And kisses. Because that family still has a four year old daughter to parent and gather themselves for, all while trying to somehow grieve for their son, so I hope they’re doing the same, and just giving … hugs. And lots of ’em.

R.I.P Lane Graves

Mom and kids

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