Accepting Change

January 23, 2018

Finally. At 7 months and 10 days. Finally. Finally got Faye into Ivy’s room. Only took me what felt like a million years, I just couldn’t do it! Mustered up the courage after battling Ivy over her nap and just did it. Whew.

I am the kind of Mom that gets the baby out of our room as soon as possible, def not a co-sleeper. Ivy at 3 months, Leo at 2 months – they were shipped off across the hall faster than I could say goodnight into their own bedroom and into their crib. I was never good at having them next to me, it caused me to have restless sleep and I couldn’t tell my husband to ‘shhhhhhh’ anymore.

Faye, has totally gotten spoiled. I more so “followed the rules” with her (can you believe the new recommendation is to have your baby in your room for the first 12 months!?), sort of, I made it much farther than the other two! But that’s solely because Ivy and her were going to share a room. Something Ivy and I were totally excited about (all the future girl talk!!!), but also led me to be terrified as well. I consider myself pretty good at change, but when it comes to routines, I am a stickler! And getting Faye into Ivy’s room was going to disrupt everything.

Ivy has transitioned out of naps for the past few months, maybe takes one every once in a while, if I lay with her and make her close her eyes and sit still (I think I’ve said “close your eyes” like 5 thousand times). Even though she’s done with naps, I still make her take quiet time in her bed. So, my problem was, if Ivy takes quiet time and Faye is trying to sleep, that doesn’t work. Yeah, she could take quiet time in my bedroom, or downstairs, or wherever, ugh, at this point, I was just not accepting change. We were in a good routine.

Plus, Faye goes to bed for the night at 630, Ivy 7/730 if she doesn’t nap. Sneaking her in and not waking Faye up seemed impossible. Plus, Leo, Ivy, and I always read books in Ivy’s bed before naps and nighttime, so what then? I know there’s always other places in the house, but… total routine Mom!!!

Ivy was just begging to get Faye into her room since day one. I was totally stripping her of that fun time between her and her sister, sleepovers!!! But it all gave me so much anxiety… not reading a book in her bed, gave me anxiety, Leo getting ready for bed being loud with “smashing my trucks!!!” in his bedroom next door possibly waking up Faye, gave me anxiety. Faye waking up in the middle of the night or morning and waking Ivy up, gave me anxiety. Ivy waking up in the morning and waking Faye up, gave me anxiety. Ugh, basically it was everything I didn’t want to tackle and mess up. Not accepting change.

But ya know, what finally tripped my trigger, was Ivy not falling asleep for her nap yesterday when I knew she was totally exhausted and if I would have laid with her she would’ve fallen asleep in two seconds, but I didn’t want to lay with her… I wanted to work out on the treadmill, I needed to clean the kitchen after lunch,  I wanted to pick up from the morning… things to do. I finally just gave up and realized not everything goes my way, or ever will.

I try to control situations, all for (what I think is) the well-being of my family and protecting the kids. Call it “hyper parenting” (google that, eeek). Always wanting them to eat (“eat, eat eat, take a bit, eat, start eating, one more bite, one BIG bite, eat, eat” – literally a million times, ugh, def need to stop that), always wanting them to have good manners (“say please, say thank you, be nice, share, don’t do that, don’t hit”), always wanting them to get good sleep (“go to sleep, stay in your room, lay down, close your eyes, go to bed”) — thinking I know best about every situation (such a Mom thing!!!) and being totally nagging!

Well, good to just say “the heck with it” sometimes and march forward to a new beat. Change is scary, change is good, change is needed. Hoping over that barrier of anxiety and getting Faye into Ivy’s room will definitely rock our world for a while, but seeing Ivy sneak into the room last night with her flashlight, and hearing Ivy sing to Faye this morning through the monitor as they both woke up, were probably the two cutest things I’ve ever seen. And in those moments, I knew we would all be okay. Kids are so resilient, us parents need to remember to be too.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.