My 38 week pregnancy brain is going berserk. The things you think about when you realize, oh s**t, I could actually be having this baby any day. Like really, ANY DAY. That four letter word is used quite often lately. The subliminal message of the days ticking is starting to enter the front of my conscious mind. So many thoughts and reflections about everything.
So here are 20 confessions about this pregnancy, upcoming baby blues, and everything inbetween. Read at your own risk…
1. I am still nervous about having a boy. As a tomboy and huge lover of sports as a kid, you would think I would be excited, and I am, but all the boy stuff, scares the crap out of me. I’m reading this book about how Boys Should Be Boys, and it’s helping ease some nerves. But that’s a whole nother story.
2. I feel like I don’t remember how to take care of a B A B Y.
3. I feel like he is
a bit neglected, and he’s not even here yet.
4. I was so excited about the name Ivy, I had ALWAYS loved that name. The name we have picked out, I’m just mellow about it. It’ll do. Boys names were WAY harder for me.
5. I’ve only bought onesies for this baby boy, because really, who cares.
6. I secretly kind of hope I get peed on. That just screams I AM A MOTHER OF A BABY BOY.
7. I haven’t had a single dream about this boy. Is that weird? I never dreamt about Ivy either except one dream at the very beginning that she was a boy : / Hmmm
8. I’m not excited to have a summer baby. That means he’s gotta stay out of the sun and heat. That means I’m out of the sun and heat. Pasty white shall continue.
9. I haven’t even looked at my birth plan, nor thought about it.
10. Last birth I did hypnobirthing, the natural route, well the breathing portion of it, and practiced occasionally throughout the pregnancy. This time, haven’t done a single breathing exercise. Can I just wing this birth? That’s my birth plan… WING IT.
11. I am excited to go through birth again. I want to involve my husband more. I want to enjoy it more. With the first one, you’re so caught up in it all of what it’s “supposed” to be like, or what you’ve seen in the movies. Well this time, I’m going to go with the flow, and try to enjoy it. If that’s possible, but I think it is. I won’t be uptight this time and want to actually talk to and look at my husband during it. I depended so much on the nurse embarrassed of all the s**t that was coming out of my vagina. Soooo, this time, wide open book, if you please, which is fitting considering your vag. (TMI)
12. I haven’t packed my hospital bag. Yet.
13. I really hope I am overdue with this boy like I was with Ivy, for selfish reasons. We have tickets to the Ed Sheeran concert on June 10 and the Kenny Chesney concert ON MY DUE DATE (June 18) and boy, I sure don’t want to miss either one of those. LOVE Kenny. So little boy, can we just agree you’ll come out on June 19? Please? :)
14. I bought some new grandma panties the other day for the aftermath of birth (which is disgusting, by the way). I stood in front of the underwear wall forever trying to figure out what size to get and what the hell was the difference between hipster and bikini. I grabbed the hipster 5-pack because I liked the word better and jetted the f out of there.
15. I looked at my crotch in a hand-held mirror a couple weeks ago to check things out down there. And oh man I wish I wouldn’t have. The things that happen to your body when you’re pregnant. YUCK.
16. I got brave and shaved down there recently. Blind. I was pretty proud I didn’t cut myself. That takes some talent and focus! I was seriously contemplating pulling a Kardashian and asking my husband to help. Low moment there.
17. Kegels… what kegels? (Sorry John, 2nd kid : / )
18. I have been waking up in the middle of the night the last few nights frantically feeling down there. I just swear my water is going to break in the middle of the night and I’m terrified!
19. I’ve had wine throughout this pregnancy. Only a half a glass probably a couple times a week. But whatev. I never even took a SIP with Ivy. Again, 2nd kid : / #sorrynotsorry
20. Speaking of wine, one of my favorite songs right now is “Sangria” by Blake Shelton. I love the lyric “we’re buzzing like that no vacancy sign out front.” Damn, would I give anything for a buzz right now off of some Sangria. I want my lips to taste like Sangria!
Well rereading that was a depressing collection of randomness.
Ready or not, here comes baby! (insert screaming face emoji)